WILL YOU BRING YOUR POT TO THE PLAYGROUNDS?

WILL YOU BRING YOUR POT TO THE PLAYGROUNDS?

I feel like I have been caught on the horns of a dilemma, or between a rock and a hard place, or up Schmidt’s Creek without a paddle! I have a huge problem!

In the City of Calgary, under the Cannabis Consumption Bylaw, cannabis may only be consumed on private property. Consumption of recreational cannabis is prohibited in any form (smoking, vaping, or edibles) in Calgary’s public places. This is the local law. If I choose to use, I can only smoke cannabis in our apartment. 

This seemed like a fairly straight forward regulation until I received a newsletter issued by the condominium board of my building. My condo policy forbids the smoking of marijuana in any suites or common areas of the building. What the hell am I going to do? My anxiety has raised my stress level to the point that I am going to have to commit a major assault on my liquor cabinet or find a place to have a puff! I think that my human rights have been violated. A man’s home is his castle: he just can’t smoke in it! I was almost on the verge of PTSD, when my creative mind developed a possible solution. 

The city in its infinite wisdom had earlier proposed that three city parks be designated as public marijuana consumption sites. It you can’t smoke at home, or in any public place then why not meet your friends in a designated park. Of course, the city fathers did not consider the relatively frigid climate we experience for six months, with below zero temperatures, heavy snow and freezing winds. The city knows best and will designate outdoor consumption parks.

Since users will be smoking “recreational” cannabis I will be proposing that we use currently designated recreational sites as consumption parks. And the city hosts hundreds of such sites called recreational playgrounds (how appropriate) in just about every school yard in the city. Every school yard can now become a vital element in every community. Local communities could create an atmosphere similar to the neighbourhood pub or bar. Of course, their use would be restricted to non school hours and mostly in the evenings. With some creativity, our recreational playground school consumption sites could become an alternative community centres. 

Three short term effects of cannabis use are increased talkativeness, loss of inhibitions and increased hunger. Influenced by these effects, participants could set up tail gate parties in the school parking lot similar to a sporting event and let the conversations begin. Food truck vendors would have another major market and community spirit would be at an all time “high”, so to speak! Perhaps there could be a portable sound system installed and a karaoke machine made available. Outdoor lights could be strung along the monkey bars and over the climbing apparatus. A dance floor on the tarmac would be another option. The more I consider this wonderful community project, the more excited I become.

I shall be forwarding my proposal to city council soon. “Bring Your Pot to The Playgrounds” will be our motto and If they do not accept my recommendation, then I shall be forced to claim that my human rights have been violated. If a man can’t smoke a joint with his friends and family in the pleasant surroundings of his neighbourhood schoolyard, why did we bother to legalize cannabis at all?

“THE JUROR OR THE INTERPRETER?”

“THE JUROR OR THE INTERPRETER?”

One of my favourite short stories as a young lad was “The Lady or The Tiger”, wherein the reader had to make a very difficult decision on how the story would end. I would like to offer my two readers a parallel dilemma, based upon two current conflicting tasks. I will call my challenge, “The Juror or the Interpreter.” 

How would you like to be a juror in the trial of drug kingpin, Juaquin Guzman, better known as El Chapo. The notorious drug lord has been considered the most dangerous man alive. He ran a multi billion dollar drug cartel until he was arrested in 1993. He was extradited and sentenced to 20 years in prison in Mexico for murder and drug trafficking. He bribed prison guards and escaped from a federal maximum-security prison in 2001. He was captured a second time, but escaped again in July 2015 through a 1.5 km tunnel that led from his cell to a construction site.

He has been captured a third time and is currently awaiting trial in New York. Guzman has pleaded not guilty to charges of international drug trafficking, conspiring to kill rivals, gun charges and money laundering. He faces a sentence of life in prison if convicted.

A jury of five men and seven women, plus six alternates, has been chosen and will remain anonymous and partly sequestered. How would you like to be one of the jurors selected? How safe would you feel if El Chapo was convicted? Do you think your identity would be protected forever? Would you be prepared to take that chance?

Or, would you prefer to be the press secretary for Donald Trump? The press secretary’s job is to represent the President to the nation through regular press briefings and interpret the President’s decisions and actions to the media. Trump’s first press secretary, Sean Spicer, was eaten alive by the press and embarrassed by both the press and the President. Spicer lasted 182 days on the job.

Current press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has survived a year and a half on the job. Ms Sanders appears to be a very thick skinned, tough talking, advocate of the President. When she is stymied by some of he President’s behaviour and his off-the-cuff tweets, she does her best to answer journalist’s tough questions. She often appears ruffled and lost for a clear explanation on many of Trump’s declarations. In comparison to Spicer, who appeared mild mannered and soft spoken, Sanders puts on a fierce visage and likes to be considered a tough talker. 

How would you like to be the spokesman for Donald Trump? You are often not informed of situations until after the fact and you must try to present the President in a positive and favourable light to the press. Are you up to it? Could you handle the pressure and the continual need to provide clear explanations and solid defence for often questionable actions or Presidential tweets?

So, the question is, “Would you choose to be, the Juror or the Interpreter?”

DO YOU WANT TO PICK THE NEXT POLICE CHIEF?

DO YOU WANT TO PICK THE NEXT POLICE CHIEF?

The Calgary Police Commission is searching for Calgary’s next Chief Constable and would like to hear from Calgarians about the priorities for the Chief over the next five years and the qualities the city needs in a new Chief. An online questionnaire can be filled out by any citizen to provide personal feedback. I personally think it is a waste of time. 

First of all, collecting random surveys provides you with a sample of opinions that are of little value. Opinions of the general public on most issues should  certainly not form a major element in the selection of the top official in the police department. These kinds of surveys tend to be filled in by those who are opinionated on every topic and not really based upon current relevant data and hard facts. A respondent’s most recent experience (eg they had a car stolen) will provide the major focus of their reply. A small vocal minority will provide input and I don’t believe would be a fair representation of the general population.

It is not the citizenry of a city that should provide the priorities for the city police. The police department, which is involved in all aspects of police work, have all the data and information on the city’s greatest needs and problems. They deal with city problems all day, every day, and they know which problem areas are escalating and which are more under control. Priorities should be based on actual needs determined by experts, not suggested needs of the less informed public. 

Providing input on the qualities that the city needs in a new Chief is even a more useless activity. I would propose that any new chief should possess diverse experiences, have demonstrated success in all of his previous policing roles, be a good communicator, well versed in the latest policing procedures in all areas and able to provide commanding and problem solving leadership. Personal qualities such as honesty, integrity, hard working, fairness, unbiased, intelligent and personable are all, also important. I am not sure that anyone’s input on this topic would provide a much different set of qualities. 

Above all, I think that these kind of public consultations are more of a public relations inspired activity to try to persuade people that their opinion is really valued. If in fact the results of the survey indicated that the general public’s priority list for the city was much different from the Calgary Police Commission’s list, the latter list would be the one selected. Public surveys are generally a feel good activity with little real value to the experts. 

I am quite happy to let the Police Commission select the candidate and city priorities they will have to deal with over the next five years. My opinion on the matter is irrelevant! Do you want to contribute your two cents worth? Go to 

www.engage.calgary.ca/chiefsearch

A PROFOUND ANSWER, TO A MORE PROFOUND QUESTION!

A PROFOUND ANSWER, TO A MORE PROFOUND QUESTION!

Life has a way of challenging us with a number of very profound questions! What is the meaning of life? Is there a God? What have we accomplished with our lives? Do you love me? When will our world end? Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight? I was overwhelmed this morning when I discovered that one of the many mysteries of the universe has been explained!

A team of scientists claims to have unraveled one of the animal kingdom's more peculiar mysteries: why wombat poop is cube-shaped.  

The wombat, native to Australia, produces about 80 to 100 cubes of poop each night. It is known to use the dung to mark its territory, depositing piles of the stuff outside burrows and on top of rocks and logs, according to Australian Geographic. But how the wombat produces the cubed shapes is a phenomenon that has puzzled many observers of the furry marsupial for years.

Researchers, led by the Georgia Institute of Technology, said they have uncovered the digestive processes behind the mystery and presented their findings at the 71st Annual Meeting of the American Physical Society's Division of Fluid Dynamics in Atlanta recently.

I do not want to bore either of my two readers with the messy details. I think that it is just overwhelming enough to know that the mystery has been solved. Not only is that good news, but the study's authors said the findings could have implications beyond the natural world, by helping to provide insight into new manufacturing techniques.

This fascinating discovery has unrolled a dozen new questions to my inquisitive mind. Did you know that there was an American Physical Society’s Division of Fluid Dynamics? It made my heart flutter! And what kind of new manufacturing techniques would soon be influenced by examining the toilet habits of the little shits? Could these techniques be used in chocolate production or the making of chicken bullion cubes? There is no end to my excitement!

As a final gem of information, you can rest peacefully knowing that from my own research, your chewing gum does lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight. Two mysteries solved in one blog! A good day’s work I would say!

OUR TRUTH BY SANDRA PARKS

OUR TRUTH BY SANDRA PARKS

Two years after 13-year-old Sandra Park won an award for her essay below, she was shot and killed in her bedroom as she watched TV.

As a break from my usual offerings. I felt that her essay was very moving and worth sharing to those of you who might not have read it. I have left it unchanged just as she wrote it.

Our Truth

By Sandra Parks

Sometimes, I sit back and I have to escape from what I see and hear every day. I put my headphones on and let the music take me away. I move to the beat and try to think about life and what everything means. When I do; I come to the same conclusion … we are in a state of chaos. In the city in which I live, I hear and see examples of chaos almost everyday. Little children are victims of senseless gun violence. There is too much black on black crime. As an African-American, that makes me feel depressed. Many people have Lost faith in America and its ability to be a living example of Dr. King’s dream!

The truth is faith and hope in what people can do, has been lost in the poor choices we make. We shall overcome has been lost in the lie of who we have become! So now, the real truth is, we need to rewrite our story so that faith and hope for a better tomorrow, is not only within us, but we believe it and we put it into actions.

Our first truth is that we must start caring about each other. We need to be empathetic and try to walk in each other’s shoes. We shall overcome when we eliminate the negative and nasty comments people make about each other. We shall overcome, when we love ourselves and the people around us. Then, we become our brothers keeper.

Our second truth is that we need to have purpose. We are the future generation, therefore we must have an education to make a positive difference in the world. We are the future leaders, but if we don’t have an education, we will accomplish nothing. We will overcome, when we use our education to make the world a better place. We will become the next President, law enforcement officers, teachers, doctors, lawyers, and law makers. We cannot continue to put the responsibility on other people. It is our responsibility as future leaders!

We must not allow the lies of violence, racism, and prejudice to be our truth. The truth begins with us. Instead of passing each other like ships in the night, we must fight until our truths stretch to the ends of the world.

This essay written by an 11 year old child contains more wisdom and insights than much of what is written by many adults. 

WOULD YOU REALLY PAY FOR THIS?

WOULD YOU REALLY PAY FOR THIS?

Apparently, this week there is a major sport’s attraction that can only be viewed if you access pay-per-view on your television. No fans will be in attendance at the event and you can only see the competition if you pay $19.99 US to watch Tiger Woods play golf against Phil Mikkelsen. This opportunity has about as much appeal to me as watching a hunter sitting in a tree for five hours waiting for a deer to stroll by! Utter boredom!

I guess this is a marketing strategy that we can soon expect to follow in other competitions. Eliminate the live audience and then charge the addicted masses to pay to watch their sporting heroes in action. The winner of this golf game will pocket a mere $9 million so you can only guess how big the profit someone is making from this first-of-a-kind venture. To ease the guilt of the two multimillionaires who are playing, they have both noted that they will be making contributions of part of the winnings to a favourite charity (no amount has yet been identified). The loser can make money if he wins one of the other games within the game i.e. longest drive, longest putt, least profanities etc.

The fascination with watching, rather than playing, golf eludes me. While I did participate in the sport for over ten years, I eventually quit the game for three reasons. First of all, after many years, my game did not get any better. The increasing costs of a round of golf and the waiting times to play also did not sit well with me. I can frustrate myself for a lot less than a hundred plus dollars to play on a nice golf course, just by tackling a home improvement project. Finally, on one of my last games, I hooked up with two twelve year old boys and when they totally outdrove me, out chipped me and out putted me, I knew that it was time to begin playing canasta!

The boredom of watching televised golf matches amazes me. Out of the five plus hours that the Tiger-Phil contest will take, there will probably be about 20 minutes of actual action. Without any audience, it will be hard to speculate what the background silence will do to enhance the excitement. No oohs or aahs from the non existent peanut gallery to acknowledge a spine tingling twenty foot putt. Most of the time will be consumed by watching a microscopic white dot move across a pale blue sky, or watching a tiny ball bound across a bright green lawn. I hate to guess the number of commercials that will be interjected endlessly over the five hour telecast. 

But if this kind of vicarious entertainment is your cup of tea, it will only cost you 20 bucks. I will save my money and just wait until spring time when my $100 will purchase me the rights to watch every live baseball game played in the Majors. It will allow me to watch over 2400 games in real time, for less than a nickel a game! Now that’s what I call a bargain. Which choice would you pick?

DO ROTATING STRIKES WORK?

DO ROTATING STRIKES WORK?

Canada is currently in the middle of a rotating postal strike. This means that each day that the strike continues mail delivery will be curtailed to four or five Canadian cities for 24 hours. The next day, different cities will be targeted for a day and the rotation could go on ad infinitum. I personally don’t think that rotating strikes are very effective. They cause some minor disruption to service but they do not put a lot of pressure on Canada Post to really resolve the strike issues.

My memory does not recall the rotating strike strategy, except in recent times. In days of yore, a strike was a strike. My Dad was a miner and if the UMWA went on strike, every mine in the country went on strike. There was no 24 hour work stoppage. It was a “s_it or get off the pot” strategy whereby the miners said we are not going to work until we have a new contract. 

This all-or-nothing approach was quite ruthless. Miners, who were basically poorly paid, suffered extreme personal and financial hardship if the mines were closed for any length of time. There were no government handouts and most miners lived from pay check to pay check. Mining companies could not fill orders and they suffered financially as well as the workers. It was a no-win situation for both employee and employer. Consequently, most strikes were settled fairly soon after they were called. A full fledge strike was a serious step for all concerned, but it did bring about a solution. 

The rotating strikes we see today are more of a sparring match, than an all out fight. Postal workers do not want to suffer the financial losses of a real strike and Canada Post knows that. As a result, the government is prepared to accept a little criticism from the few cities hit by strikes, and the backlog of undelivered mail that piles up. They would claim that it is the postal workers who have created the problem and not Canada Post.

Postal workers are asking for salary increases to keep up with the rapidly rising cost of living. There has been a huge increase in package delivery that has resulted from thousands of people who shop online and expect delivery by Canada Post. This new issue has increased the workload of mail sorters and mailmen significantly. Parcel delivery is now a large part of the mailman’s job. As with most strikes there are always two sides to every issue. Hopefully, the rotating strategy will help resolve the issues. I’m not holding my breath!

Do you favour the rotating strike or the full fledge walkout or even a ban on strikes for essential services altogether?

WHO IS THE “SEXIEST SENIOR ALIVE?”

WHO IS THE “SEXIEST SENIOR ALIVE?”

People magazine just announced that British actor Idris Elba as the "Sexiest Man Alive" in their latest issue. This obtuse “honour” is billed as a benchmark of male attractiveness and typically includes only famous people and celebrities. The origin of the title was a discussion on a planned story on Mel Gibson. Someone exclaimed, "Oh my God, he is the sexiest man alive!" And someone else said, "You should use that as a cover line.”This out-of-the-blue coronation has continued since 1985 with a new recipient every year since then. 

Of course, this meaningless honour dredged up a plethora of critical questions from my inquiring mind. Is this practise not sexist? Are we not depicting a group of good looking intelligent males as simply “sex objects?”Is this kind of adulation any more inappropriate than flaunting bikini clad women in beauty contests such as Miss America or Miss World? People magazine should be admonished and condemned for this practise. 

Of course, I wondered why People had not also conducted a parallel recognition of the “Sexiest Woman Alive?” My intensive research discovered that in December 2014, People selected its first and only Sexiest Woman Alive. No later People Sexiest Women of the Year have ever been announced. So I asked,”Why not?” Did the feminist movement cause People to dismiss this practise of glamorizing good looking females as demeaning and insensitive? Are the main readers for People magazine female and they are only interested in the sexiest “male” of the year?” My queries are endless!

My most interesting experience with “beauty contests” occurred when we lived in the Bahamas. Bahamians love beauty pageants. My sometimes faulty memory recalls contests for Miss Bahamas, Mrs Bahamas, Miss Teen Bahamas, Ms Full Figured Bahamas and Miss Junior Bahamas for the four to six year old contingent. These latter contestants wearing “evening gowns” and tiaras were driven around the streets of Nassau in the back of pickup trucks decorated with streamers and balloons and blaring rocking, modern music. There did not seem to be any sense that the female form, either pre-school age or over-the-hill age, was being exploited or denigrated. Unique body shapes and sizes did not seem to be an issue. 

Since we live in an age where anything seems to go, I am presenting my two readers with the following questions. Is it time for the Sexiest Senior Alive? What would be the judging criteria? Would one of you nominate me? I anxiously await your reply!

IS NO NEWS, GOOD NEWS?

IS NO NEWS, GOOD NEWS?

This past week the New York City Police reported that for the first time in over 25 years there were NO reported shootings in New York City over the past weekend.

Of course, when I first read this item I thought that it was really good news. No one got shot! After a little reflection, I wondered if no one had been shot, was that really news? Usually the news is a report of a significant happening, not a non-happening. 

Is this the start of a new kind of newsless reporting that will allow 24 hour news channels to report on an entire new litany of non-events?

An example of such an enthralling story might be:

“Angela Merkel, German Chancellor, did not buy a new pant suit this week. Ms. Merkel shuns dresses as she is averse to cold breezes that might blow up her skirt. She has thus collected dozens of wonderful polyester pant suits that protect her from the cool winds of northern Germany and the hot air that regularly circulates in German parliament. 

One of her favourite suits is a lovely mauve microfibre suit that can also double as gym wear, for her hot yoga classes. Ms Merkel is very cost conscious and much of her manly wardrobe is multi purpose. She has a bright red suit that she can also wear when she plays Mrs Claus during the festive season. I have a suit of every colour already,” she explains, “so there is no need for any duplication.”

She is now confining her shopping trips to the grocery store, the bakery and the wine store. Ms Merkel also notes that her pant suits are usually two sizes too big for her, to allow for expansion.”

Other thrilling non-news stories that might thrill you:

• It didn’t rain anywhere in Nevada today
• Donald Trump did not tweet last night
• No marijuana was sold in Canada yesterday as the supply has been depleted
• No new pipelines are under construction in BC today
• Vladimir Putin was not photographed bare chested riding a horse this week
• Florida was hurricane free this month
• Flu season is scheduled to start 
• Justin Trudeau refrained from apologizing to anyone today 

Of course, the fact that no one was shot in a major American city is good news. It just struck me a little funny that a non-event was reported at all. What do you think?

DO WE NEED A MINISTRY OF COMMON SENSE?

DO WE NEED A MINISTRY OF COMMON SENSE?

I was recently reading about the “government” of North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un and discovered that his 30 year old sister has begun to assume a very visible role in his regime. Kim Yo-jong has been assigned to be director of the party’s propaganda and agitation department. I instantly fell in love with the title, “Ministry of Propaganda and Agitation.” It has a very intriguing ring to it and sure beats an assignment to be the Minister of Agriculture! 

First of all, I wondered if the new department had been formulated before or after Kim met with Donald Trump in Singapore. Apparently, Kim developed the department and it seems to me that Trump, unofficially and quickly, adopted it for his own use. Although the USA does not have a formal ministry, it has certainly been known to use information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view. I think that is the Webster definition of propaganda. 

And agitation seems to be a fundamental Trump technique to stir up the masses whether the topic is immigration, taxes, the Mexican wall, the economy or another of the failings of the Obama administration. I find it rare not to experience an immediate sense of irritation when I see Trump wearing his ridiculous red baseball hat with his suit and tie. In fact, he himself is a one man agitation department.

I wondered if the Canadian government had any ministries that might replicate the Propaganda and Agitation one of Kim Jong-un. I am pleased to report that we do not have a Canadian counterpart, but we do have some rather unique and possibly unnecessary ministries (in my opinion). For example we have a Ministry of:

• Intergovernmental Affairs and Youth - a rather strange pairing of portfolios, kind of like serving broccoli and chocolate.
• Agriculture and Agri-Food - Agri-Food?
• Crown-Indigenous Relations - a squeaky wheel development?
• Sport and Persons with Disabilities - another pairing of convenience or ?
• Science and Sport - would there not be some confusion with the the ministry above?
• Democratic Institutions - not sure what this ministry does.
• Border Security and Organized Crime - what if the organized crime does not cross a border? Does it matter or are the two issues unrelated?
• Seniors - I love the idea, but what is their mandate?

There are 27 other ministries that are more traditional, but the above examples just caught my eye as being rather unique or unusual. There does not appear to be any department that specializes in propaganda and agitation which leads me to two possible conclusions. Either, there is no propaganda nor agitation allowed by our esteemed Prime Minister or it is so pervasive and culturally engrained in our governmental model that ALL ministries practise both of them.

I would like to propose one new ministry that would oversee all of the other 35 - namely a Ministry of Common Sense. Do you think it would ever work?

IS IT TIME TO CHANGE YOUR NAME?

IS IT TIME YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME?

Over the past weeks I have encountered three or four name changes that caused me to wonder if we were at the beginning of a new movement. Perhaps we are starting a trend to rename everything. Let me explain.

A recent news item informed me that Weight Watchers was going to change its name to WW. This is certainly a much more modern moniker and will help to remove some of the stigma associated with needing help to lose weight. I believe it is a worthwhile organization and it does provide assistance and support to millions of people who need help losing extra pounds. Softening the name to WW and disguising the term “weight” seems to be the motivating rationale. Whether it will actually lead to larger membership or increased loss of weight is still to be determined.

Another major company to change names is Dunkin’ Donuts the massive donut chain. In the future, it will be called Dunkin’, without the dangling donut. The big reason for the change according to a company spokesman is that, “The simplicity of our new brand creates energy.” I tried repeating the name Dunkin’, Dunkin’, Dunkin’ several times and sadly must report that I did not feel more energetic at all. But what do I know. I am sure the megabucks spent on a marketing study that resulted in the new “energizing” name have been well spent. 

Changing names has extended itself recently to individuals as well as companies. For example, music rapper (an oxymoron) Sean Combs has been variously known as Puff Daddy, P. Diddy or Diddy, but this year announced his preference for the names Love and Brother Love. Although I also have a affinity for the names Love and Brother Love I have decided to retain plain old “Ken”. 

Another rapper Kanye West has informed his vast following that he will now be known as just YE in the future. As well as being an abbreviation of his current professional name, West has previously said the word has religious significance for him. "I believe 'ye' is the most commonly used word in the Bible, and in the Bible it means 'you,'" West further clarified his name change as follows, "So I'm you, I'm us, it's us. It went from Kanye, which means the only one, to just Ye - just being a reflection of our good, our bad, our confused, everything. Is there anything that inspires more wonder and awe than a clarification from a rapper?

Finally, my last name change was provided by Monica Lewinsky, former White House intern and cuddle bunny. Ms. Lewinsky has decided that if you tweet, then you should have a hashtag that should be personal and meaningful. She proposed to use (honestly) the following as her hash tag, “Monica Chunky Slut Stalker That Woman Lewinsky”.  Apparently she doesn’t want to be mistaken for any other Monica Lewinsky tweeters!

The practise of name change stimulates my mind with dozens of examples of appropriate name changes that I will save for a future blog. Stay tuned! What would you change your name to if you were so inclined?

Why I am Returning to Blogland

                         QUESTIONS I NEED ANSWERED!

As I mature, I am finding that I am becoming much more inquisitive. As a child and young adult, I seldom asked questions. Whether it was in school or in a social setting I was generally regarded as “the quiet one” or shy or just plain disinterested. All of the above labels could have been truthfully applied at various times. As I matured into senior citizen status, that has changed. 

Today, my life is a whirlwind of questions and conundrums. Reading any newspaper headline or viewing a newscast immediately seems to stimulate my brain into action. One simple news event can spin my mind in dozens of directions. Sometimes I am searching for answers and sometimes I am just reacting to a story or event. No topic is off limits. I have pursued questions on topics as varied as politics and religion, sports and agriculture, and marijuana and movies. 

I have decided after a two year absence from doing any daily writing to return to this practise once again. I know that my two loyal fans and readers will be rejoicing and chanting the Hallelujah Chorus, while the remainder of the world will probably just be whistling Dixie. But I will forge ahead regardless of the appeal (or lack thereof) of my daily musings and challenging queries. 

Thank you if you bother to take the moment to read my innermost thoughts and quandaries regarding some of the most pressing issues of the day. Please feel free to pass them on to your friends if you would like to stimulate their mundane lives as well. If you prefer to just delete them I will detect it with a new technology that I am using and you will notice a decrease in your Christmas bonus from me, as well as an irritating rash that will appear on your body in the most annoying places. 

Should you be so inclined, I would welcome your answers to the questions that I will be posing. The more answers you provide, the more fulfilled my life will be. Please provide anwers in the comment section!

Ken the Kwestion Man