WHAT BROUGHT YOU JOY IN 2018?

WHAT BROUGHT YOU JOY IN 2018?

After recently sharing my trivial irritants of 2018, I thought perhaps it was time to be an equal opportunity blogger and identify the “Ten Things That Brought Me Joy in 2018”.

I have not included people or events or travels, but tried to identify the more menial “things” that I enjoyed this year.

• Alexa. For the uninitiated, Alexa is a voice activated little box of widgets and gremlins that will respond to my voice command to answer any of my questions or play any music that I request. “Alexa, what is the temperature outside? Alexa, play the music of John Denver.” And voila, I find out the temp and hear the music I like in a couple of seconds. It’s like having a magic genie!
• Library “books on hold”. There is little point in buying any new books these days. I will often cruise Chapters or Indigo book stores, identify new books and then place a hold on my favourites at the local library. Sometimes I may wait a month, but I have a long list that just moves along like a conveyor belt and I am always reading the latest best seller books for free! 
• Light weight shoes. We now live in the era of very light weight footwear. A pair of shoes, that don’t weight a pound, are a real treat. Combine them with custom orthotics and I could probably run a marathon, if I was so inclined!
• Short hair clippers. I have finally smartened up and now wear my hair in a one centimetre buzz cut. I now boycott barber shops and cut my own hair with a round devise that buzz cuts my short hair as I stand outside on my 20th floor balcony and let my silver locks blow away in the wind, all over the countryside below. It has occasionally been mistaken for snow by people living below me.
• The cell phone camera. I have little use for the actual cell phone, but I love the camera feature it includes. It is pocket size, light weight (is there a pattern here), and you can judiciously take photos without drawing any attention to yourself, as people just think you are talking on your phone. Real secret agent paraphernalia!
• A small air fryer. A crock pot size fryer that does not fry with oil but just cooks with very hot circulating air. It is excellent and any food that you could fry - chips, steak, potatoes, chops, bacon, or sausage can be fried grease free. It’s hard to believe that it is actually healthy cooking!
• Outdoor light remote. At Christmas, we usually string some coloured lights outside on the balcony railing. With this handy dandy, little hand held remote I can now turn the lights on or off without venturing outside. It is a real godsend when the winds of winter are blowing and it is minus 20 degrees outside!
• The PVR. This is of course a golden oldie, but I am just discovering the advantages of recording any TV program that I might want to watch at a later time. It is a joy to be able to skip all commercials and fast forward through the action or inaction scene. It gives me more time to blog!
• Deluxe reclining movie seats. Going to the movies today has risen to a new level. No longer do you have to jockey for a seat behind a short person or a person without a hat or a bouffant hairdo. The new seats are soft leather (plastic?) with a reclining feature and an elevated foot rest and no obstructions in front of you. I could get used to this luxury.
• High rise condo living. Condo living means no pulling weeds, no cutting grass, no shovelling show, no ants on the counter, no door to door salesmen or JWs, no hauling out blue, green and black boxes, no painting fences and the biggest bonus of all, no end to hot water for showers! The life of Riley!

WHY DO POLITICIANS VISIT WAR ZONES?

WHY DO POLITICIANS VISIT WAR ZONES?

This year both Canadian and American troops have been rewarded with a very special treat. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau visited the Canadian peace keeping troops in Mali, West Africa, and President Trump visited an American military base in Iraq. All I can really ask is “Why?” Was it to boost sagging morale of the troops, display the courage of the politicians in visiting active war zones or was it merely a political ploy to orchestrate a photo op for the folks back home? If you chose option A or B you were wrong. 

Recently, Trudeau popped in unannounced to the Canadian base in Mali to visit and share a turkey dinner with our peace keeping forces. When I try to place myself in the shoes of a soldier in the camp, I find it very hard to get overly excited by the fact that my Prime Minister took time out of his busy schedule to drop in to say hello. What a nice guy! I hope I can get his autograph. Then as sneakily as he showed up, in a matter of hours, Trudeau flew back home. Mission accomplished - complete with numerous videos and photos of him serving a turkey dinner and studying a table covered in strategic (?) maps. 

US President Trump one upped Trudeau by actually arriving on Boxing Day in Iraq. Under the cover of darkness, surrounded by fighter planes and a security detail, Trump dropped in out of the sky for a meaningful three hour photo op and a chance to repeat and repeat his appreciation for the good work that was going on in Iraq. Much of the time was devoted to a Trump speech and endless selfie opportunities for troops to have a picture taken with the president. To again one up Trudeau, Trump also dragged his poor wife, Melania, along to add some colour (a bright yellow jacket) to the proceedings. I am sure that she was delighted to travel the 14,000 mile return trip over two days to smile and look attractive. 

Without a doubt a visit to an active military venue by a national politician for a couple of hours, is the dream of every service man. I am sure that morale was at an all time high after the visit, although a few service men were heard remarking, “He should have come on a night mission with us to get a real taste of a combat zone.” That would have made his visit worth while. 

Presidents and Prime Ministers are also very motivated to visit the sites of local disasters such as hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and wild fires. Just as I fail to see that service men are really enamoured with a politician’s visits, I also suspect locals who have lost their homes to hurricanes or floods, really find the handshake of a President or Prime Minister very comforting and soothing. I believe that these political leaders do sympathize with victims of disaster but milling about in the debris of a house burned in a wild fire, really does nothing to solve the problem. And I don’t think the first hand eye witnessing of a disaster site is any more meaningful than what I personally see on TV. A disaster is a disaster!

Mr Trudeau and Mr Trump, I would request that you tend to the business that you have been elected to handle, not traipse around the world to trouble spots, be they national or international. Deal with your obligations to govern and lead. Justin you have an oil pipeline problem that needs more than passing attention and Donald, perhaps it is time to start up the US government, that has been shut down because of inept leadership. Stay home and do your job, and leave the military to focus on their business! They don’t need either one of you on site!

WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST IRRITANTS OF 2018?

WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST IRRITANTS OF 2018?

Every year as we head toward January first, we are buried by lists or tributes to the “Best of 2018”. We read about the Top News Stories, Favourite Baby Names for the Year, Time’s Person of the Year, the Word of the Year and on and on ad nauseam. This year I am introducing a new top ten list. Welcome to “Ken’s Top 10 Irritants of 2018.”

As I mulled over the hundreds of different things that have irritated me this year, I had trouble reducing the list to ten. Some of these irritants are unique to 2018, but some may qualify for many previous and future years. They are not listed in any order, but they are all first class, grade A, pains in the ass!

• Red Carpet Awards Telecasts. Before major awards shows, like the Academy Awards, we are assaulted by an hour of two bimbos fawning over the dresses and jewellery of arriving guests and award’s nominees, as they parade on the “glamorous red carpet”. It is a pathetic example of overblown egos, over dressed nobodies and has no redeeming value what-so-ever.
• After Game Sport’s Interviews. When the Big Game is over the winning coach and some star player are usually questioned about their earth shattering accomplishments by the marginally intelligent sports media. I am not sure if the stupid questions of the reporters or the mumbled responses of the athletes are more pathetic. eg. Q. “How did you feel about the win?” A “ It was a team effort, we were well prepared, and I’d like to thank Jesus!”
• Christmas Commercialization. The crass commercialization of Christmas just continues to grow and grow. The original one day Black Friday sales have mushroomed to pre-Black Friday week at the front end and another post-Black Friday week at the other end. It is only prevented from extending further because the pre-Boxing Week (not Day) sales have expanded on either end of Christmas consuming the rest of the December calendar. Sickening!
• Bouncing Gasoline Prices. Gasoline prices are so volatile and unpredictable that even Las Vegas won’t offer odds on the price of gas tomorrow. While it may take weeks for the price to slowly dip by a total of ten cents over a month, it can propel itself upward by twenty plus cents a litre overnight. The explanation of this phenomenon by the oil and gas industry is so incomprehensible that no intelligent person can understand it. If it is clear to you, please let me know. 
• Undecipherable Vanity License Plates. Many people are very creative and have developed some cute vanity license plates. Plates like NMBRONE, or MANOTYR,  or even IMAVLBL  can be translated by most people. Sometimes however I see a plate like RKSAMTN and it drives me crazy for the rest of my drive, trying to figure it out. PS. I just made the latter one up so don’t lose sleep trying to figure it out.
• Change for Changes Sake. My daily read of a couple of online newspapers has become a nightmare. The Calgary Herald obituaries used to be published daily with all notices in alphabetical order by surname of the deceased. Now they publish 16 notices with photos and it never matches the complete list of the obituaries that are printed in the actual newspaper. Maddening! The NYTimes also has a new format that rambles on and on and at the very end summarizes all of the same stories. Why not just stick to what worked in the past? It’s annoying!
• All Inclusive Movie Trailers. I often watch trailers of upcoming movies to see which ones might interest me. Often I find one I like, go to see the movie, and find out that the trailer actually included all the relevant parts of the actual movie. I go expecting more and find out the trailer was the total story! I could have saved ten or fifteen bucks!
• Airport Security. Since Richard Reid, also known as the Shoe Bomber, attempted to detonate an explosive device packed into his shoes, we have been forced to remove our shoes (and belts) when going through security checks. Since he was caught in 2001, I always end up in a fluster with my shoes in one hand, my belt in another, my backpack in another and my jacket in another trying to hurry along without my pants falling down and I curse him every time I travel. I hope he is not enjoying his prison stay at all!
• Sports Colour Men (and Women). All televised sporting events have a commentator describing the play and a colour commentator. The colour person seems to believe that colour means endlessly quoting statistics on every conceivable aspect of the game and the players. They never shut up. The really cool ones also have a device that allows them to draw arrows and circles on the screen to show us again what we have just seen. Wonderful stuff!
• THE TRUMP. No list of irritants would be complete, without including Donald Trump. His voice is irritating, his hair is irritating, his red hat is ridiculous, his speeches are childish, his messages are incomprehensible, and his persona is totally disgusting. Don’t get me started! If I had to select The Irritant of 2018 he would be the unanimous winner. Note: he would have also won in 2015, 2016 and 2017 and I am already nominating him for 2019 and 2020.

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN MY PROTEST AGAINST PROTESTS?

DO YOU WANT TO  JOIN MY PROTEST AGAINST PROTESTS?

I am getting sick of protests and consultations. Recently, the CBC radio network decided not to play the Christmas song, “Baby, its Cold Outside” because it conjured up, in some demented minds, predatory sexual behaviour. A week later, after much protesting by those in the non-demented population, the CBC decided to reverse its ban and start playing the song again. Public protest and confrontation saved the day. But when one protest is over, another quickly surfaces to fill the void.

Minor hockey in Canada offers many different levels of competition based upon the ages of the players. The levels range from Mite or Tyke, Novice, Atom or Squirt, Peewee, Bantam, Midget, Juvenile, Junior and finally Senior. Well, wouldn’t you know it! The Alberta Little Person Association wants the term “midget” to be removed from under-18 hockey. “We want to raise awareness to say that this word is not appropriate anymore,” a spokesman for the group protested recently. They didn’t elaborate on whether the Midget level should be replaced by the Little Person’s level to avoid hard feelings or not!

But the ball of protest has started to roll and you can fully expect more hockey objections to follow. Given that a mite is often defined as an eight legged arachnid that may be parasitic or defined as a small child regarded as an object of sympathy, that designation has got to go. Both the terms squirt and peewee can be used as synonyms associated with a bodily function and are certainly not appropriate as the names of children’s hockey leagues. The Alberta Rooster Association will claim exclusive rights to the term “bantam” and the Delinquent Union will also object to the use of “juvenile” in a sporting, rather than a behavioural sense. Once the floodgates are open, there is no stopping the nonsense.

On the consultation front, I have a bone to pick with our indigenous people. A major pipeline is not being built because there was not enough consultation with First Nations people beforehand. I just wonder why tribes that are hundreds and hundreds of miles removed from the pipeline route are now being consulted. The Bank of Canada does not consult me when they wish to raise the bank interest rates!

The provincial government is proposing the possible construction of a new oil refinery in the province. The premier indicated that, “Of course, the First Nations will be consulted prior to the building.” Why doesn’t the government select a site for the project that is not on First Nations land?” And as a word of caution, they should make sure that the site will not endanger some Sacred Ground or a native burial ground (of which, there seem to be an inordinate number, so often under the routes of proposed new roads and other major projects). This latter scenario always raises the chicken or the egg dilemma for me. Did the burial ground predate the roadway location or did the roadway site, spawn a previously unknown burial ground? I find the probability of these two factors correlating so highly, a tad suspicious! Perhaps it is just the skeptic in me!

And the beat just goes on and on. I am surprised that there is not a protest to have small children sit on a stool when they get their photo taken with Santa, rather than on his lap. You can’t be too careful these days! The sexual predator lobby that informed us of the dangerous Christmas song, certainly missed the boat by not sounding the alarm on this issue! 

ARE YOUR CHILD’S CHRISTMAS TOYS REALLY SPYWARE?

ARE YOUR CHILD’S CHRISTMAS TOYS REALLY SPYWARE?

In days of yore, one of the small joys of the Christmas Season was purchasing toys for your young children or grandchildren. Today, toy shopping is fraught with danger. Or at least a number of consumer advocacy groups are warning us of the many dangers associated with buying certain toys. I’m not talking about lead based paint, or a small object that a child might choke on, but the dangers that might occur by violating a child’s privacy by sharing data! My senile mind just responded with the clearly articulated reaction of, “Huh?”

My experience selecting Christmas toys was based upon a small smattering of common sense. If a toy had sharp edges or tiny nuts and bolts that might be swallowed or a long cord that might become a noose, it was not purchased. We were cautious consumers. If a toy might cause a burn or cut or puncture, we would select something like a G.I. Joe action figure or a set of Hot Wheels cars. And as Ralphie’s mom in the movie “A Christmas Story” cautioned, Ralphie was not getting a BB gun, ‘cuz he might shoot his eye out. Common sense was the measuring stick of the day. 

Today’s high tech world has added a new demon that is far more evil and dangerous than an old fashion wood burning set. A child’s personal data might be stolen! In fact, advocacy groups have filed a complaint with the FCC that some of this season’s hottest toys, including My Friend Cayla and the i-Que Intelligent Robot, are violating children’s privacy. That’s because these toys are constantly in listening mode — much like Siri and Alexa on our phones — and sending it to Nuance Communications, a speech recognition company that also contracts with the U.S. military and intelligence firms.

The toys are automatically and continuously connected to the internet transmitting data about children, which could violate a number of laws, according to the complaint — especially laws protecting children from online data collection. 

In addition to the privacy problems, the group also suggests that the toys may be a stealth marketing campaign for Disney products, which sell a wide variety of toys activated by voice recognition.  Among Cayla’s many pre-programmed responses are dozens of references to Disney movies and theme parks. Who knew? Not me, that’s for sure!

So this year I will be playing it safe! My grandson will get a trilogy of Hardy Boy books and my granddaughter will get a Cabbage Patch doll! They will probably just roll their eyes when the open Grandpa’s gifts, but I can rest easy knowing that I have  protected them from today’s technology demon! At least, I hope so!

DO YOU WANT TO READ SOME GOOD NEWS?

DO YOU WANT TO READ SOME GOOD NEWS?

Today, I bring you tidings of great joy! No, I am not announcing the Second Coming nor that I am going to quit blogging. When our daily news seems to be filled with tragedy, conflict, death and destruction, it is a joyous day when we can be treated to some good news. Recently, we have been informed of two significant global conditions that have not deteriorated further, but rather they have improved! That is cause to celebrate. 

The first happy item is that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is not leaning as much as it used to. Back in 1990, the tourist favourite was closed to the public for the first time in 800 years amid fears it could be on the verge of toppling. At the time, it was tilting by 4.5 m or 14 feet from the vertical. And that is quite a lean! An international committee worked to stabilize the tower between 1993 and 2001. The 57 m (186ft) medieval monument has been straightened by 4 cm (1.5in) over the past two decades. The improvement is slight, but it is moving towards the vertical. At this rate, we can expect the No Longer Leaning Tower of Pisa to be standing erect in a little over 3000 years. My sense is that it will not be a major tourist attraction should this happen.

The second improvement is probably more significant. In the early 1980s we were alerted to the rapid deterioration of the ozone layer that surrounds the Earth. Ozone in the upper layers of the atmosphere protects the earth’s surface from most of the harmful ultraviolet rays from the sun. Without it, skin and eye damage can occur, and evidence suggests a rise in skin cancers is associated with the thinning of the ozone layer.

Scientific evidence of the depletion of the ozone layer over the Antarctic was first presented in 1985, and in 1987 the Montreal protocol was signed, binding world governments to reduce and phase out the harmful chemicals identified as causing the problem. New evidence shows the ozone layer is showing signs of continuing recovery from man-made damage and is likely to heal fully by 2060.

The results, presented in a four-year assessment of the health of the ozone layer, represent a rare instance of global environmental damage being repaired, and a victory for concerted global action by governments. As we continue to read about escalating problems of climate change, depletion of wild life species, pollution of the air and our oceans, it is a small comfort to experience one global success story supported by total cooperation among all nations.

Although a 4 cm movement of a leaning tower and the healing of a hole in our atmosphere do not really attract a lot of media excitement, they are an example of good news in my mind. Now if we really want a challenge, let’s see if we can significantly reduce the high fat and calorie content of the Big Mac! That would really be good news!

WHY DO WE WAIT SO LONG?

WHY DO WE WAIT SO LONG?

It happened again just recently. President George H. W. Bush passed away and the tributes began to roll in from all corners of the globe. His life history and his personal achievements filled the airways, the Internet and the news outlets. During the past few decades, he has lived in relative obscurity and peace, but after his death he has been painted as an amazing man, with many admirable qualities. I don’t doubt the sincerity of the accolades, but I am always a little saddened that people must wait until someone has died in order to pay them the respect and admiration that they have earned throughout their lives. Why do we wait so long?

After I attend a funeral, I am often saddened with the feeling that I am not sure how well I really knew the deceased. Eulogies and tributes by family and friends paint a very comprehensive picture of the person and often reveal many aspects and elements of the person’s life that I hadn’t known. I often feel that it would have been wonderful if the person had been paid those tributes while they were still alive so that they might be able to hear how others thought of them and loved them. Why do we wait so long?

After a person passes, our society usually reverts to two primary practises. First, an obituary is posted in the local press announcing the passing, including some information on the deceased and forthcoming funeral arrangements. I have often thought that a person who is aging, but still living, should perhaps insert a pre-obituary letting people know that he is still alive and would love to reconnect with many former friends and acquaintances before his life is over. Perhaps he could indicate that he is available for a phone call, an email, an invitation for coffee or lunch and an opportunity to share some personal time with friends who have been out of touch. Perhaps this is an uncomfortable idea, but just think of the joy we experience when a friend from the past reaches out to contact us. I have always found it very uplifting to make reconnections. Perhaps we need to instigate a pre-obituary practise for just that reason. What do you think?

Secondly, funeral services have also become very routine. A religious service is usually provided, tributes are paid to the deceased and a lunch is often served. I attended a service where the man who passed away, had written a small note of thanks and appreciation that was read during the service. It was very unusual, but very powerful. This might also be considered as an option. Recently, a good friend passed away and I was asked to write a tribute. While he was in hospice care, I read my tribute to him while he was still alive so that he would hear first hand how I felt about him as a friend. It meant a lot to both of us. I don’t know if this happens very often but I believe, when possible, it is probably a good idea. What do you think?

If there is a bottom line to this rather “downer” entry, it is that we do need to remember to stay in touch with old friends, offer compliments more often and let people know how important they are to us on a regular basis. Amen!

SHOULD I CONFESS?

SHOULD I CONFESS?

Is there any greater thrill than finding out that you will be getting a financial reward from an unexpected source? Yesterday, I received a letter from my bank that began, “We are writing to let you know that you are eligible to receive the discounted monthly fee for seniors on your All-Inclusive Banking Plan Account.” It felt like a lottery win and I was thrilled.

As I read further, I was conjuring up a trip to the Bahamas or perhaps a new car with my newly announced financial gains. Until I read even further. “We recently learned that the 25% discounted price was not applied when you turned 60 and we have gone ahead and applied it to your Account going forward. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience.”

Expecting a monetary prize that would make a difference in my life, I was somewhat disappointed to learn that the rather humble total of $52.50 was going to be credited to my account. Instead of the Bahamas or a new car, I was going to have to restructure my dream to something more like a lunch for two at Earls. 

Following a moment of disappointment, I then became angry. How come it took 18 YEARS for the bank to discover their error and make amends? I would hardly classify that as customer service! But beggars cannot be choosers, and I began to examine the menu at Earls. 

After a little more reflection, my anger was replaced by a warm fuzzy feeling. I remembered that my Banking Plan does not include a monthly fee if I maintain a minimum balance over $4000. So my wonderful efficient bank paid me a small refund on a fee that I was not even paying. It only took them 18 years to arrive at this decision. 

But the money has been deposited into my bank account and I am smiling from ear to ear. Not only did I receive a small windfall, but it was a windfall that I did not qualify for. Should I tell the bank that they made an error or should I just enjoy my higher income bracket? 

Given the efficiency of the banking industry, I am wondering if the error in my favour will be identified soon or will it take another astute auditor another 18 years to discover the mistake? If I receive another letter in 2036 and find I have to pay back the money plus interest I will be truly miffed. And by then, it will probably amount to around $50,000, including interest! I think I will take my chances!

WHAT CAN YOU BUY KEN FOR CHRISTMAS?

WHAT CAN YOU BUY KEN FOR CHRISTMAS?

Every year I am deluged with questions from my two friends and family as to what I want for Christmas. Since I never provide any suggestions, the list of gift givers has now shrivelled to just my wife - and she has almost quit asking. To provide some guidance, I am constructing a list this year to help all of you with your gift shopping. To make it even easier and more convenient, I compiled my list exclusively from the Cabela’s Christmas Catalogue, which is primarily targeted to avid hunters, fishermen and outdoorsmen, like myself. My 2018 Christmas gift wish-list includes the following:

1. A Bass Pro Camouflage Bedding Set: Once my bed is covered with camouflage sheets, pillow cases and bedspread, it will be practically impossible to find me, to wake me up. A retiree’s dream!
2. Cabela’s 15” Jerky Blaster: Imagine squeezing out 15 inch long belts of venison, or moose or elk jerky with just a pull of the trigger. Visualize a caulking gun if you have never seen a Jerky Blaster before.
3. A 10” Model 30XT Gas Powered Ice Auger: I envision skulking over to the local community ice rink in the middle of the night and drilling the winter equivalent of “crop circles” into the ice. Can you imagine the excitement when they are discovered?
4. A Daisy Red Rider Retro Lever-Action BB Air Rifle: Just like the one little Ralphie yearns for in the Christmas movie, “A Christmas Story.” This is probably my number one choice!
5. The Excalibur Micro 335 Crossbow: I would love to wander through Edworthy Park or the Calgary Zoo with this massive crossbow slung over my shoulder and ask people I encounter if they have seen Bambi anywhere?
6. A Scentlok Radial Ozone Generator: These little devices are used to keep small areas clear of human smell, using odour and bacteria beating ozone technology, so the animals can’t detect human aroma. Come to think of it, you could also use it in your own bathroom, after hunting season!
7. The Palias PX-1 Semi-Automatic Shotgun: My how shotgun technology has advanced! This model comes equipped with two five-round magazines in case you cannot hit a charging moose with a single shotgun blast!
8. The ultimate gift for the real hunter, a GSG-MP40 Semi Automatic Rifle. Although it is only a .22 calibre rifle it holds a 23-round magazine. If the first 22 shoots miss the target, you get a bonus 23rd shot. 

So there you have it, my Christmas wish list for 2018. I hope I have been helpful. If the Canadian Tire Christmas Catalogue shows up in the next few days I may be forced to make some additions to the list.  In the meantime, happy shopping!

WHOSE POSITION DO YOU SUPPORT, JUSTIN’S OR PIERRE’S?

WHOSE POSITION DO YOU SUPPORT, JUSTIN’S OR PIERRE’S?

Over the past four years we have witnessed the “apologetic soul” of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. He has regularly taken the parliamentary stage to apologize on behalf of Canadians for some questionable decisions by Canadian governments over the past 150 years. For example:

• Trudeau apologized to the Tsilhqot’in community for the hanging of six chiefs more than 150 years ago in an emotional ceremony last month, that one chief says brought an end to a “difficult journey.”
• In 2016 Justin Trudeau apologized in the House of Commons for the Komagata Maru incident, in which a shipload of immigrants from India was turned away from Vancouver in 1914.
• In 2015 he apologized for the 1939 decision to turn away the MS St. Louis, a ship carrying 907 German Jews fleeing the Nazi regime. The refugees were looking for refuge in Canada, but they were turned away under the 'None is Too Many' policy of the time. For the record, he also apologized again for the same incident just recently. This time however, it was a “formal” apology!
• Canadian PM Justin Trudeau issued a formal apology to former residential school students in Newfoundland and Labrador. Some 150,000 indigenous children over more than 100 years were separated from their families and forced to have a state-run education.
• Prime Minister Justin Trudeau delivered a historic apology to LGBT Canadians in the House of Commons, saying sorry for decades of "state-sponsored, systematic oppression and rejection."

I certainly have nothing against offering apologies when a wrong has been committed. If I commit a wrong, I will make an apology for MY error or misjudgement. I would never feel that it is my responsibility to make an apology for some act that might have been performed, for example, by my Father. The power and meaningfulness of an apology is the responsibility of the actual offender. 

History is full of decisions made over the centuries that seem faulty or excessive or discriminatory when we view them today. Government decisions are made in a particular political, social, cultural and economic climate that is dictated by norms and beliefs at the time. In today’s world, many past decisions would be shaped by different forces and consequently made differently. 

Perhaps, as the elected leader of our country, Trudeaus feels compelled to speak on issues that previous governments have handled poorly. If that is the case, then I am sure there are hundreds of other government decisions that have occurred over the past century and a half that still have not been brought to light. Can we anticipate that we will soon be witnessing the “Apology of the Month?” I certainly hope not. 

I also wonder if an apology issued fifty, or a hundred and fifty, years after the event can be particularly meaningful, in other than a symbolic way. Recording the apology for posterity does not alter the event nor provide any comfort since most of those involved are probably no longer alive. 

Interestingly enough, I found that I was in agreement with the opinion of Pierre Trudeau, former Canadian Prime Minister and Justin’s Father. Pierre was of the opinion that, “I do not think it is the purpose of a government to right the past. It cannot rewrite history. It is our purpose to be just in our time." I tend to agree. Do you?

HOW DOES THE HUMAN MIND WORK?

HOW DOES THE HUMAN MIND WORK?

I am often amazed at the workings of the human mind. Today, I am especially  intrigued with the mind of a man named Ross Edgley. Ross is a 33 year old Brit who just spent 157 days at sea, swimming around the mainland of Great Britain.

I know that I often wonder what I am going to do today or what new hobby I might explore or try. Usually I satisfy myself with searching the Internet, or reading a good book or having a coffee with a friend. At my mature age I don’t tend to consider activities like rock climbing, sky diving or taking a 1,791 mile swim like Edgley did.

Did Edgley just wake up one morning and say to himself, “I think I will try to swim around Great Britain? That would be fun.” How did the idea even pop into his head? Was he just exploring unique things to do like walking the length of the Great Wall of China or rollerskating around the world? Was he looking for his 15 minutes of fame or following in the backstrokes of the dozens of people who have swum across the English Channel? Was he motivated by the ‘stronger, faster, higher” motto of the Olympics or was he just plain “high” to begin with?

Regardless of the reason, Edgley started the 1,791-mile trek in Margate, a coastal town in southeast England and returned to the same location. He was met by 300 other people who swam the last half mile with him. He never set foot on land throughout his journey and instead rested on a support boat between his six-hour swims, according to his sponsor, Red Bull. During his breaks, he slept on the boat and fuelled his body by eating up to 15,000 calories a day.

Perhaps Edgley, had been an employee of Red Bull energy drinks and the swim was punishment for some transgression with the company. Or perhaps it was just a marketing ploy that will now feature Edgley’s face on new cans of Red Bull! The possible reasons for this bizarre 1791 mile swim are as endless as the questions that still race through my mind. If I could figure out how the human mind works, I would be a very happy man!

WILL YOU BRING YOUR POT TO THE PLAYGROUNDS?

WILL YOU BRING YOUR POT TO THE PLAYGROUNDS?

I feel like I have been caught on the horns of a dilemma, or between a rock and a hard place, or up Schmidt’s Creek without a paddle! I have a huge problem!

In the City of Calgary, under the Cannabis Consumption Bylaw, cannabis may only be consumed on private property. Consumption of recreational cannabis is prohibited in any form (smoking, vaping, or edibles) in Calgary’s public places. This is the local law. If I choose to use, I can only smoke cannabis in our apartment. 

This seemed like a fairly straight forward regulation until I received a newsletter issued by the condominium board of my building. My condo policy forbids the smoking of marijuana in any suites or common areas of the building. What the hell am I going to do? My anxiety has raised my stress level to the point that I am going to have to commit a major assault on my liquor cabinet or find a place to have a puff! I think that my human rights have been violated. A man’s home is his castle: he just can’t smoke in it! I was almost on the verge of PTSD, when my creative mind developed a possible solution. 

The city in its infinite wisdom had earlier proposed that three city parks be designated as public marijuana consumption sites. It you can’t smoke at home, or in any public place then why not meet your friends in a designated park. Of course, the city fathers did not consider the relatively frigid climate we experience for six months, with below zero temperatures, heavy snow and freezing winds. The city knows best and will designate outdoor consumption parks.

Since users will be smoking “recreational” cannabis I will be proposing that we use currently designated recreational sites as consumption parks. And the city hosts hundreds of such sites called recreational playgrounds (how appropriate) in just about every school yard in the city. Every school yard can now become a vital element in every community. Local communities could create an atmosphere similar to the neighbourhood pub or bar. Of course, their use would be restricted to non school hours and mostly in the evenings. With some creativity, our recreational playground school consumption sites could become an alternative community centres. 

Three short term effects of cannabis use are increased talkativeness, loss of inhibitions and increased hunger. Influenced by these effects, participants could set up tail gate parties in the school parking lot similar to a sporting event and let the conversations begin. Food truck vendors would have another major market and community spirit would be at an all time “high”, so to speak! Perhaps there could be a portable sound system installed and a karaoke machine made available. Outdoor lights could be strung along the monkey bars and over the climbing apparatus. A dance floor on the tarmac would be another option. The more I consider this wonderful community project, the more excited I become.

I shall be forwarding my proposal to city council soon. “Bring Your Pot to The Playgrounds” will be our motto and If they do not accept my recommendation, then I shall be forced to claim that my human rights have been violated. If a man can’t smoke a joint with his friends and family in the pleasant surroundings of his neighbourhood schoolyard, why did we bother to legalize cannabis at all?

“THE JUROR OR THE INTERPRETER?”

“THE JUROR OR THE INTERPRETER?”

One of my favourite short stories as a young lad was “The Lady or The Tiger”, wherein the reader had to make a very difficult decision on how the story would end. I would like to offer my two readers a parallel dilemma, based upon two current conflicting tasks. I will call my challenge, “The Juror or the Interpreter.” 

How would you like to be a juror in the trial of drug kingpin, Juaquin Guzman, better known as El Chapo. The notorious drug lord has been considered the most dangerous man alive. He ran a multi billion dollar drug cartel until he was arrested in 1993. He was extradited and sentenced to 20 years in prison in Mexico for murder and drug trafficking. He bribed prison guards and escaped from a federal maximum-security prison in 2001. He was captured a second time, but escaped again in July 2015 through a 1.5 km tunnel that led from his cell to a construction site.

He has been captured a third time and is currently awaiting trial in New York. Guzman has pleaded not guilty to charges of international drug trafficking, conspiring to kill rivals, gun charges and money laundering. He faces a sentence of life in prison if convicted.

A jury of five men and seven women, plus six alternates, has been chosen and will remain anonymous and partly sequestered. How would you like to be one of the jurors selected? How safe would you feel if El Chapo was convicted? Do you think your identity would be protected forever? Would you be prepared to take that chance?

Or, would you prefer to be the press secretary for Donald Trump? The press secretary’s job is to represent the President to the nation through regular press briefings and interpret the President’s decisions and actions to the media. Trump’s first press secretary, Sean Spicer, was eaten alive by the press and embarrassed by both the press and the President. Spicer lasted 182 days on the job.

Current press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has survived a year and a half on the job. Ms Sanders appears to be a very thick skinned, tough talking, advocate of the President. When she is stymied by some of he President’s behaviour and his off-the-cuff tweets, she does her best to answer journalist’s tough questions. She often appears ruffled and lost for a clear explanation on many of Trump’s declarations. In comparison to Spicer, who appeared mild mannered and soft spoken, Sanders puts on a fierce visage and likes to be considered a tough talker. 

How would you like to be the spokesman for Donald Trump? You are often not informed of situations until after the fact and you must try to present the President in a positive and favourable light to the press. Are you up to it? Could you handle the pressure and the continual need to provide clear explanations and solid defence for often questionable actions or Presidential tweets?

So, the question is, “Would you choose to be, the Juror or the Interpreter?”

DO YOU WANT TO PICK THE NEXT POLICE CHIEF?

DO YOU WANT TO PICK THE NEXT POLICE CHIEF?

The Calgary Police Commission is searching for Calgary’s next Chief Constable and would like to hear from Calgarians about the priorities for the Chief over the next five years and the qualities the city needs in a new Chief. An online questionnaire can be filled out by any citizen to provide personal feedback. I personally think it is a waste of time. 

First of all, collecting random surveys provides you with a sample of opinions that are of little value. Opinions of the general public on most issues should  certainly not form a major element in the selection of the top official in the police department. These kinds of surveys tend to be filled in by those who are opinionated on every topic and not really based upon current relevant data and hard facts. A respondent’s most recent experience (eg they had a car stolen) will provide the major focus of their reply. A small vocal minority will provide input and I don’t believe would be a fair representation of the general population.

It is not the citizenry of a city that should provide the priorities for the city police. The police department, which is involved in all aspects of police work, have all the data and information on the city’s greatest needs and problems. They deal with city problems all day, every day, and they know which problem areas are escalating and which are more under control. Priorities should be based on actual needs determined by experts, not suggested needs of the less informed public. 

Providing input on the qualities that the city needs in a new Chief is even a more useless activity. I would propose that any new chief should possess diverse experiences, have demonstrated success in all of his previous policing roles, be a good communicator, well versed in the latest policing procedures in all areas and able to provide commanding and problem solving leadership. Personal qualities such as honesty, integrity, hard working, fairness, unbiased, intelligent and personable are all, also important. I am not sure that anyone’s input on this topic would provide a much different set of qualities. 

Above all, I think that these kind of public consultations are more of a public relations inspired activity to try to persuade people that their opinion is really valued. If in fact the results of the survey indicated that the general public’s priority list for the city was much different from the Calgary Police Commission’s list, the latter list would be the one selected. Public surveys are generally a feel good activity with little real value to the experts. 

I am quite happy to let the Police Commission select the candidate and city priorities they will have to deal with over the next five years. My opinion on the matter is irrelevant! Do you want to contribute your two cents worth? Go to 

www.engage.calgary.ca/chiefsearch