WILL YOU INVEST IN MY NEW TELEVISION SERIES?

WILL YOU INVEST IN MY NEW TELEVISION SERIES?

I don’t watch a lot of popular television. I find it uninteresting, predictable and uncreative. If one crime show becomes a hit, we are flooded with what seems like dozens of copycat versions soon after. The world of television is desperately searching for a new kind of program that will appeal to the undiscerning masses whose appetite needs to be fed. I think I have found the answer. I would like to develop the recent El Chapo trial of drug cartel boss, Joaquin Guzmán, into a new television series that combines the best elements of reality TV, criminal justice programs, and gratuitous scenes of violence, brutality and sadism. How could it fail?

To begin with, the eventual result of the trial on the TV series with be a forgone conclusion. Guzman had already been convicted two other times for the same offences, only to miraculously escape from prison twice, so his guilt on my show is a given. However, the latest trial lasted three months and took the jury 34 hours to arrive at a guilty verdict. Think of all the episodes containing flashbacks into his previous escapes, including one caught on closed circuit prison monitors, showing Guzman fleeing through a tunnel from his jail cell in Mexico! Think of the tense and colourful courtroom scenes complete with sketchy witnesses and gruesome testimony!

Imagine all of the episodes that could be extracted from the more than 300,000 pages and 117,000 audio recordings of testimony that was presented at his trial. The show could last for decades. While I personally don’t know what could possibly be included in that amount of detail, it would be a TV script writer’s dream.

Some episodes could highlight his business empire that involved running the world’s largest drug cartel, smuggling more than 155 tonnes of cocaine into the United States, reaping profits of $14 billion and ordering murders to protect the business. His rise to power revealed stunning testimony about corruption at nearly every echelon of Mexico's government, from police and military commanders to local and state officials to former presidents of the country. What is more appealing to today’s television viewer than scandal, bribery, coercion and murder, especially when it involves political and military leaders?

A positive aspect of my TV proposal is that it would cost a lot less than the $50 million that it cost to stage the actual trial. I think that we could probably shoot the entire series in Drumheller, using the local court house and the badland areas in the valley, which could easily pass for the Mexican outback. If we really need some tough looking hombres as supporting actors, we could simply second some of the inmates at the Drumheller penitentiary, for minimum wage. 

Most DEA agencies believe that El Chapo’s conviction will have little impact on the operations of the world's largest drug trafficking organization or the tons of narcotics it smuggles into the United States. Experts say the one certainty of Guzmán's downfall is more drug violence. "There's going to be more bloodshed. Every time there are these transitions ... there is a period of adjustment. It's often quite bloody.” Is there any better guarantee that my TV show will be successful and continue well into the next decade? Bloodshed, violence and mayhem - the backbone of prime time television. 

Unlike the jurors for Guzman’s trial, my investors will not be provided with a cloak of anonymity or full time secret service protection. You will instead be able to add the qualification of movie producer to your resume and then just sit back and watch the dollars roll in! An opportunity like this only comes along once in a lifetime. I will accept your investment money on a first come-first served basis!