WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST IRRITANTS OF 2018?

WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST IRRITANTS OF 2018?

Every year as we head toward January first, we are buried by lists or tributes to the “Best of 2018”. We read about the Top News Stories, Favourite Baby Names for the Year, Time’s Person of the Year, the Word of the Year and on and on ad nauseam. This year I am introducing a new top ten list. Welcome to “Ken’s Top 10 Irritants of 2018.”

As I mulled over the hundreds of different things that have irritated me this year, I had trouble reducing the list to ten. Some of these irritants are unique to 2018, but some may qualify for many previous and future years. They are not listed in any order, but they are all first class, grade A, pains in the ass!

• Red Carpet Awards Telecasts. Before major awards shows, like the Academy Awards, we are assaulted by an hour of two bimbos fawning over the dresses and jewellery of arriving guests and award’s nominees, as they parade on the “glamorous red carpet”. It is a pathetic example of overblown egos, over dressed nobodies and has no redeeming value what-so-ever.
• After Game Sport’s Interviews. When the Big Game is over the winning coach and some star player are usually questioned about their earth shattering accomplishments by the marginally intelligent sports media. I am not sure if the stupid questions of the reporters or the mumbled responses of the athletes are more pathetic. eg. Q. “How did you feel about the win?” A “ It was a team effort, we were well prepared, and I’d like to thank Jesus!”
• Christmas Commercialization. The crass commercialization of Christmas just continues to grow and grow. The original one day Black Friday sales have mushroomed to pre-Black Friday week at the front end and another post-Black Friday week at the other end. It is only prevented from extending further because the pre-Boxing Week (not Day) sales have expanded on either end of Christmas consuming the rest of the December calendar. Sickening!
• Bouncing Gasoline Prices. Gasoline prices are so volatile and unpredictable that even Las Vegas won’t offer odds on the price of gas tomorrow. While it may take weeks for the price to slowly dip by a total of ten cents over a month, it can propel itself upward by twenty plus cents a litre overnight. The explanation of this phenomenon by the oil and gas industry is so incomprehensible that no intelligent person can understand it. If it is clear to you, please let me know. 
• Undecipherable Vanity License Plates. Many people are very creative and have developed some cute vanity license plates. Plates like NMBRONE, or MANOTYR,  or even IMAVLBL  can be translated by most people. Sometimes however I see a plate like RKSAMTN and it drives me crazy for the rest of my drive, trying to figure it out. PS. I just made the latter one up so don’t lose sleep trying to figure it out.
• Change for Changes Sake. My daily read of a couple of online newspapers has become a nightmare. The Calgary Herald obituaries used to be published daily with all notices in alphabetical order by surname of the deceased. Now they publish 16 notices with photos and it never matches the complete list of the obituaries that are printed in the actual newspaper. Maddening! The NYTimes also has a new format that rambles on and on and at the very end summarizes all of the same stories. Why not just stick to what worked in the past? It’s annoying!
• All Inclusive Movie Trailers. I often watch trailers of upcoming movies to see which ones might interest me. Often I find one I like, go to see the movie, and find out that the trailer actually included all the relevant parts of the actual movie. I go expecting more and find out the trailer was the total story! I could have saved ten or fifteen bucks!
• Airport Security. Since Richard Reid, also known as the Shoe Bomber, attempted to detonate an explosive device packed into his shoes, we have been forced to remove our shoes (and belts) when going through security checks. Since he was caught in 2001, I always end up in a fluster with my shoes in one hand, my belt in another, my backpack in another and my jacket in another trying to hurry along without my pants falling down and I curse him every time I travel. I hope he is not enjoying his prison stay at all!
• Sports Colour Men (and Women). All televised sporting events have a commentator describing the play and a colour commentator. The colour person seems to believe that colour means endlessly quoting statistics on every conceivable aspect of the game and the players. They never shut up. The really cool ones also have a device that allows them to draw arrows and circles on the screen to show us again what we have just seen. Wonderful stuff!
• THE TRUMP. No list of irritants would be complete, without including Donald Trump. His voice is irritating, his hair is irritating, his red hat is ridiculous, his speeches are childish, his messages are incomprehensible, and his persona is totally disgusting. Don’t get me started! If I had to select The Irritant of 2018 he would be the unanimous winner. Note: he would have also won in 2015, 2016 and 2017 and I am already nominating him for 2019 and 2020.