WHAT CAN YOU BUY KEN FOR CHRISTMAS?

WHAT CAN YOU BUY KEN FOR CHRISTMAS?

Every year I am deluged with questions from my two friends and family as to what I want for Christmas. Since I never provide any suggestions, the list of gift givers has now shrivelled to just my wife - and she has almost quit asking. To provide some guidance, I am constructing a list this year to help all of you with your gift shopping. To make it even easier and more convenient, I compiled my list exclusively from the Cabela’s Christmas Catalogue, which is primarily targeted to avid hunters, fishermen and outdoorsmen, like myself. My 2018 Christmas gift wish-list includes the following:

1. A Bass Pro Camouflage Bedding Set: Once my bed is covered with camouflage sheets, pillow cases and bedspread, it will be practically impossible to find me, to wake me up. A retiree’s dream!
2. Cabela’s 15” Jerky Blaster: Imagine squeezing out 15 inch long belts of venison, or moose or elk jerky with just a pull of the trigger. Visualize a caulking gun if you have never seen a Jerky Blaster before.
3. A 10” Model 30XT Gas Powered Ice Auger: I envision skulking over to the local community ice rink in the middle of the night and drilling the winter equivalent of “crop circles” into the ice. Can you imagine the excitement when they are discovered?
4. A Daisy Red Rider Retro Lever-Action BB Air Rifle: Just like the one little Ralphie yearns for in the Christmas movie, “A Christmas Story.” This is probably my number one choice!
5. The Excalibur Micro 335 Crossbow: I would love to wander through Edworthy Park or the Calgary Zoo with this massive crossbow slung over my shoulder and ask people I encounter if they have seen Bambi anywhere?
6. A Scentlok Radial Ozone Generator: These little devices are used to keep small areas clear of human smell, using odour and bacteria beating ozone technology, so the animals can’t detect human aroma. Come to think of it, you could also use it in your own bathroom, after hunting season!
7. The Palias PX-1 Semi-Automatic Shotgun: My how shotgun technology has advanced! This model comes equipped with two five-round magazines in case you cannot hit a charging moose with a single shotgun blast!
8. The ultimate gift for the real hunter, a GSG-MP40 Semi Automatic Rifle. Although it is only a .22 calibre rifle it holds a 23-round magazine. If the first 22 shoots miss the target, you get a bonus 23rd shot. 

So there you have it, my Christmas wish list for 2018. I hope I have been helpful. If the Canadian Tire Christmas Catalogue shows up in the next few days I may be forced to make some additions to the list.  In the meantime, happy shopping!